A (less than) modest proposal

For the man who is fit for everything except, apparently, the ability to mastermind his own proposal, the hospitality industry is unveiling a few new ways to make her say 'I do.'

Dubbed 'proposal concierges,' these romance deputies take care of every possible prenuptial arrangement short of popping the question (though scripting is entirely negotiable).

With 49 properties at its disposal, the Orient-Express Perfect Proposal program ($12,000 - $15,000) caters to your every sweep-her-off-her-feet whim. You want to propose mid-safari or on a private island? A squad consisting of a De Beers diamond emissary, a Red Carpet Enterprises 'special occasion specialist,' and the aforementioned concierge will see to the requisite flourishes; the flowers, the champagne, the helicopter ride.

Meanwhile, at Germany's InterContinental Koln, the iceman who cometh with the Will You Marry Me package ($1,570 - $10,000) hails from the neighborhood Wempe boutique. Once he sets you up with a stone and setting of your choice, seal the deal at the hotel's Harry's New York Bar. The manager doubles as proposal concierge, organizing the flowers, treats, candies, and, if you have a special song (you better!), a band to play it.

And The Romance Package at Bermuda's Cambridge Beaches ($875 - $1100) is bring-your-own-bauble, but the proposal concierge and 'romance expert', sees to everything else. First you and the missus-to-be share a massage for two in the Ocean Spa's new couples suite; next comes a consult with the 'bath butler' and a soak of your choosing; and finally, the candlelit beach dinner.

The only thing these services can't arrange, well, is a guaranteed yes.